Deep Thoughts with Joshua...thinking about soul mates

I have a hard time believing in this concept. Let us be frank and say we live in the age of the no fault divorce where family units are ripped apart for legit and not so legit reasoning. I am a child of divorce...I have seen many a marriage, many a broken marriage, and I have even been a willing and then very unwilling participant in a failed marriage that was in almost every way doomed from the beginning. For me marriage is very much an antiquated concept...but as a writer I want to believe in the idea of a soul mate. That there is one soul out there that will meld with mine and make me happy and calm in perpetuity.

I guess the first hurdle to overcome here is when we think of soul mates we think of a romantic partner. For me I am not so sure that is what a soul mate should be. I think saying your soul mate is the person you are dating or sleeping with cheapens the meaning of the phrase. For me a soul mate is something way more special that all of that. It is a once in a lifetime experience and they should come into your life exactly when you need them the most...but hey I am a writer and I like grandiose gestures like that and I so believe in fairy tale ideals....I want to live a love story...I want it to inspire me...and I want to share that feeling with the whole world.

Since it is hard for me to be objective about this topic at the moment I found a very nice article that is a 10 point checklist of the elements that define a soul mate.  I agree with 9 of their 10 and my list would include one different item...

With that here they are:

1. This person makes you feel a way no one else does and that feeling is hard to put into words
2. You just get each other
3. You fall in love with each others flaws
4. It's intense
5. It feels like the two of you versus the whole world
6. You're mentally inseparable
7. You feel secure and protected
8. You cannot imagine your life without them
9. You look each other in the eye
10. It doesn't matter what you do its enjoyable because you do it together

So there ya go...if you think you have a soul mate they should meet a majority of the above conditions. Granted the dream is to find that one perfectly flawed soul that is these 10 things and so much more...but hey I am a writer and I want to believe in the fairy tale...

Deep Thoughts with Joshua...

Yesterday was a pretty tough day, and it use to be that after days like that I would fight with my ex wife and make things that much worse. After being together for 10 years and going through a pretty ugly divorce our relationship has certainly changed, and we are forever linked because we have a kid together. Last February we made a pledge to one another to put our son first and to let the animosity, jealousies, and ugliness between us start to fade away. We sealed that promise to one another in blood and ink.

Now seven months later, and after not really believing that was possible, I think the two of us are really living up to hat pledge. Given all the pledges that we have made one another over the years and on the back of all the one we both broke it's a little hard to accept that we could actually do this. However, and she deserves a lot of credit in this, slowly but surely we have let go of the hurt that was our failed relationship and stepped up to not only be good parents to our kid, but to actually be kind to one another.

Given the situation, as it stands here today, it would be very easy for her to write off what is going on with me, Yet she has handled that with a lot of class and respect. I could understand hurt feeling, jealousy,  and bitterness, but none of that comes. She even went as far to say 'Josh, you are a good dude and you deserve to be happy.'

I was pretty surprised at that, but it just goes to show ya that someone you think you know can always surprise you, and situations are not always want they seem. For her and I, I guess we are just better friends than lovers and after what felt like a lifetime together we are slowing realizing that. there doesn't need to be all the hurt and anger anymore, we can be calm, get along, and parent our child together.

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