Monday, December 9, 2013

30 day Game of Thrones challenge: Day 3 where in Westeros would I live?

Since, in my own mind, I am a Lord, Hand of the King, and I have my own great house, I am going to choose a castle. Let's face it being a small folk sucks, and I am so not going to live in Flea Bottom. In fact I am not even going to visit Flea Bottom even in my trip there gets me a view of Cersei naked. I am not going to hang out with Davos Seaworth, but I might hang with Dany in the Dothraki Sea and drink the fun amazing diarrhea water. LOL.

So since I am the Lord of a great house, I need to pick one of the great castles of this land to live in. I think for me the answer comes down to three; Winterfell, Riverrun, and The Eyrie. Dragonstone is cool but I hate reading that chapter with all the stairs. Stairs blow and I hate the stairs in my own house so a castle with a lot of stairs holds no real appeal for me.

Winterfell is cool, but I live in Michigan so the Winter can suck it. Having a doubled wall castle seems appealing but it is way to far north for me. The cold is really getting to me lately. That also seems to be an issue for The Eryie but that castle is virtually impregnable. I do not see any way an army could storm that castle, and since I am cool with Dany I do not have to concern myself with Dragons. I like the idea of Riverun and being near the water, but the Frey's can seriously suck it and I do not want too be around all those inbred morons. Much like Littlefinger I would fling that crazy bitch Lysa Arryn out the moon door and she would be followed by that creepy kid of hers. That kid bugs me bad, and the show does such a poor job of showing us all the crazy. My boy shall be the heir in the Eyrie and I shall rule the Vale of Arryn with an Iron Fist. Let armies come and smash themselves against the Bloody Gate. I will be high above flinging poop at them like a deranged monkey. BWAH.

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